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***QUESTION***

Hi David!

It's incredible, your stuff works universally, worldwide. Yes, it does. I stumbled across your website when I was searching the internet some months ago. First off, there is nothing like this available in German. I thought it would be a good idea to deal with your material since I study American English among other subjects. Learning two things at the same time ;-). Hell, I was such a shy, desperate, depressed 'wussy' (didn't find that word in 3 dictionaries). I really needed to get this thing handled... Last night I went to a dance club with one of my best friends who is very good with women. I was having a great time and all of a sudden, there was a girl who asked me if I would go frequently to this club. She said she would have noticed me if I had been there before. That's when the game started. I was saying and doing things I NEVER would have said or done before. I was making fun of her and teasing all night. I made up a story that I was a Swiss guy who evaluates the girls and the premises for a snobbish swiss scene-magazine. It was obvious that I was making fun but later she said she almost believed me. We had a lot of fun when we were describing how our dreamgirl/dreamboy would be like. I teased her about her 'exorbitant expectations' and guessed her age about 38 (she's 22). After some close dancing, she said she needed to sit down for a while because her feet were aching. I said I don't massage sweaty feet and she would need to find somebody else for that job. She called me a jerk and pinched me more than once ;). Then she kissed me. The kissing and touching became hotter and hotter during the night. She seemed to know everybody in the club. All the time there were people coming giving comments and grinning. She made me acquaint with a VERY beautiful waitress at the bar who is her best friend. I asked her to write down her email-address and she said I was the first guy ever who asked her about her email and not her phone-number ;-). She gave me her two numbers and her email of course. More than that, she was actually BEGGING ME to call her!! At 5 they began to shut the club, she pulled me in a corner and I heard people saying 'they bite each other'. Then, she invited me to her apartment, added that the waitress from the bar would sleep there as well and asked me if I would mind. And she said she was so tired she could only play the passive part... It was CRYSTAL CLEAR what she wanted from me. I said I would call her and after ten more minutes she eventually let me go.

And here comes my big problem. It sounds unbelievable but I'm, ahem... I am still a virgin. Yes, it's true. You wouldn't believe it if you see me. I'm 21 years old and pretty good looking, I have to say. I did and do a lot of sports and I think nobody in my environment would assume that I'm a virgin. I don't know how this could happen. Well, I did a little research in some German internet newsgroups and forums. It seems that for most women, this condition is not very pleasant, to put it mildly. It's a big turn-off. They must think you're a bloody loser and something can't be right with you if you haven't managed to do it at that age. And that's unlikely that you can give pleasure if you are that inexperienced. It means more work with you than fun. In the best case, they judge it neutrally. And to come back to the first part of the message, I don't know what to do when we come together the next time. Tell her, not tell her? I believe she wouldn't believe me or think I'm dishonest if I tell her right off. At least she would notice at some point... I don't know what to do. Have you an answer? Please include this in your next newsletter. Help is greatly appreciated.

D from Germany

» MY COMMENTS:

First, you're doing GREAT. Nice job.

You probably read the newsletter that I sent out a few days ago... where I addressed this.

To summarize:

Don't worry about it.

The FELLINGS that you're giving her will FAR MORE than make up for any lack of experience on your part.

If you're with her, making out, and you stop to say "You know, I don't have any experience in this area" you're probably just going to kill the vibe.

Don't worry about it!

Just keep going... you're going to be fine.

By the way, I love your "I'm a Swiss guy who evaluates the girls and the premises for a snobbish swiss scene-magazine" line. Brilliant.

Also, love the guessing that she was 38 when she was obviously in her early 20s. 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